My 5 year old son considers himself a real superhero, complete with super powers such as lightning speed, invisibility and climbing power. My tough little man is really afraid of nothing and no one… But I know behind those mischievous green eyes are also worries. At a young age he had to deal with asthma and the shortness of breath that occurred during such an asthma episode caused anxiety and the associated hospitalizations did not really improve. At such a moment you end up on a roller coaster of emotions. Especially if such a recording lasts longer and you experience several recordings or asthma attacks in quick succession. I tell you this because the way I experienced my emotions then are similar to the emotions I experience in the phase we are in now. As Rutte said, the Corona crisis affects us all. And in whatever way you have to deal with it, it does something to you and stirs up emotions. This applies to us as adults, but also certainly to our children.
And those emotions are useful, because they tell you how you are doing. But they can also be difficult because they influence our behavior and in children, who still have trouble recognizing their emotions, this is still unconscious. When stress (changing situation, tension, etc.) is added, adults quickly lose control over their emotions. But with children you can imagine that this can result in violent showers. Sometimes it is difficult to place certain behavior with an emotion. Just think of my superhero. Boys have a greater tendency to express their emotions outwardly and with fear you can see, for example, busy, tough or angry behavior. Girls are more likely to withdraw, become quieter and turn inward.
As a parent, it is therefore good to look at the emotion behind your child's behavior. If you suspect that something is going on, talk to your child. This is not always possible, if the emotion is present in all its intensity, it is better to give your child the space to express this emotion. Just listening and showing understanding is then all that children, but also adults need.
Only then can you see what helps and with younger children it can help to read a book about emotions together to make this a topic for discussion. Examples of these booklets are: 'Frog is afraid', 'Never not afraid!' and 'There's a crocodile under my bed'.
You can also help very young children by naming emotions when you see this. But also in game form, children like to “practice” emotions and learn to recognize (their own) emotions. For example, if you stand in front of the mirror, what happens to your face if you look very angry or very happy? With older children, it can also be good to discuss your own emotions. Note that this does not get the better of you, but children should know that adults also worry and that what they experience and feel is completely normal. That bit of acceptance of you as a parent is the most important thing for a child. And with this you also indicate: your emotions can be there, YOU can be there.
Greetings,
Sanne
Pedagogical employee and coach SKO
